Dating Diaries, Unfiltered: The intersection of honesty and dating
Want the honest truth? eharmony’s Dating Diaries report is back! We’re exploring how honesty, confidence, and authenticity impact our love lives on dating apps and IRL. Who is lying on their dating profiles and what’s driving that? Does your date or partner really care about these possibly harmless fibs? And what are daters’ biggest insecurities?
eharmony’s research discovered:
- 41% of all singles say they’re not entirely honest on dating apps
- To ‘seem more interesting’ and ‘appear more confident’ are Aussies’ top reasons for telling fibs on their profiles
- Exaggerating height and using outdated photos are believed to be the most common untruths
- ‘Fear of rejection’ is the biggest emotional insecurity when using dating apps
But how much do daters really care about whether prospective partners are being 100% honest on their profiles? Australian daters think fibbing about height, interests, and political views are among the more acceptable forms of evasion. From exploring (and debunking) dating insecurities to exposing our little white lies on dating apps, this edition of Dating Diaries is putting it all out there with brand-new data and advice from relationship experts.
Table of Contents
Embracing Honest and Authentic Dating
It’s no secret that we don’t believe everything we see on dating app profiles. Just 11% of Australians believe other users are being ‘very authentic’ while 22% say ‘not authentic at all’.
And they might be right. 31% of Australian singles are afraid of being rejected and list this as their biggest emotional insecurity. This fear of rejection can then show up on their dating app profiles with 41% of all singles reporting not being authentic or only somewhat authentic on dating apps, with 48% of Gen Z reporting this. And 86% of Gen Z singles believe that others are only somewhat authentic or not authentic at all on dating apps.
Sharon Draper, an eharmony Relationship ExpertThe little white lies can only last so long until the jig is up, so to be honest and authentic upfront will only serve you better in the long run.
Singles’ Big (Dating App) Little Lies
Australian singles find lying about interests (37%), height (34%), and political views (34%) to be the most acceptable on dating apps. Surprisingly, 18% of singles are okay with not being upfront about having kids.
The most acceptable and unacceptable lies between the generations are:
ACCEPTABLE
UNACCEPTABLE
When it comes to not being honest on dating apps, men and women tend to view things differently. For example, just 12% of men have lied about their family life on their profiles, compared to 23% of women. 22% of men have lied about hobbies and interests, and 37% of women have edited pictures on their profiles.
Here are the sides of the aisle men and women fall on when it comes to lies
n = 815 Australian participants
24%
of women suspect people are lying about their height
23%
of women lie to appear more confident
47%
of men suspect people are using outdated photos
44%
of women suspect people are lying about what they’re looking for
IN YOUR OWN WORDS…
Here is advice from singles on how to be more authentic on dating apps:
“Don’t put on an act, be yourself, be kind and consistent. Never back down on your morals.”
“Show who you really are, include the ugly truths, and showcase your qualities.”
“Just be honest and up front. You get more respect that way.”
*Responses are from The Dating Diaries report, which included verbatim responses from a sample of 815 Australian participants
Overcoming Dating Insecurities
Dating brings up all sorts of emotions, from exhilarating highs and pre-date butterflies to insecurities and fears of rejection. Millennials and Gen Z have similar top insecurities while dating: for Millennials, their mental health and shyness (32% for both) and for Gen Z, shyness and weight (30% for both). But there is hope: these insecurities can melt away after the first date with 48% of all singles saying they will go on a second date if they feel comfortable around the person.
IN YOUR OWN WORDS…
Here are three elements of finding an authentic relationship on a dating app according to singles:
“Communication, respect, shared power.”
“Reliable, honest, reciprocal.”
“Fun, engaging, challenging.”
“Same interests, honesty, great conversation.”
*Responses are from The Dating Diaries report, which included verbatim responses from a sample of 815 Australian participants.
Conquering first date fears. With the building anticipation of a first date, singles tend to overthink what could go wrong. 47% of women are most concerned they won’t have anything in common with the other person, while 47% of men fear neither person will be attracted to each other. However, it’s reassuring to discover that the other person is likely not paying attention to your self-perceived flaws. There’s one thing we all agree on: 67% of Australian singles pay the most attention to a shared sense of humour on a first date.
Sharon Draper, an eharmony Relationship ExpertLetting yourself embrace vulnerability on a first date may help you bond on how you’re feeling and pave the way for a great first date and a second date to follow.
Confidence…In The Bedroom
After all the highs and lows of dating, comes a healthy, strong, and confident relationship. People in relationships are reaching new heights when it comes to the confidence they feel in their partners. For example, Australian Gen Z and Millennials in relationships are having more sex, with 11% of Millennials having sex at least five times per week, more than any other generation. Plus, 19% of Gen Z and 20% of Millennials are having more sex than a year ago.
What’s causing this sex spike from last year?
Here are other bold sex trends for 2024:
- New partner? More sex: 18% of Australians in relationships report that they had more sex in the past year because they have a new partner.
- Exploration is fun: 48% of Millennials enjoy being sexually adventurous with a partner, more than any other generation.
Methodology
The Dating Diaries, Unfiltered report was commissioned by eharmony and conducted by Harris Interactive. It was fielded online between January 9th and January 16th, 2024 and surveyed 815 Australian participants. Participants qualified if they were aged 18+ and were either married, cohabiting, in a relationship, or were currently dating. Results were weighted to be nationally representative by age, gender, and region.
