The Pros and Cons of Online Dating

Wherever you currently fall in the online dating argument, it can’t be denied it’s slowly becoming a standard. In 2023, Statista found there were 381 million users of various online dating services worldwide.¹ This number will be almost 100 million higher by 2028.

Some pros and cons of dating sites

Whether you’re excited or apprehensive about this development, it still seems worthwhile to explore its potential. To help you understand a bit about the technology and its potential, we’ve put together a list of online dating pros and cons that have been backed by studies and surveys.

Pro: It’s how many couples meet these days

Online dating is one of the few technologies that didn’t see massive early adoption by the youth in the 90s, but rather slightly older singles in their late 20s and early 30s. It came onto the market with a certain stigma.

Pre-mobile apps days, an internet dating pros and cons list mainly would’ve been about small local numbers and generational user concentration. Fast-forward 30 years, fifteen iPhones, two new generations and one pandemic later, 39% of heterosexual couples today met their partner online, according to a Stanford University survey², doubling the figure they found 10 years before.  

Con: You might encounter fake profiles

No summary of online dating pros and cons would be complete without addressing the catfishing fear. What if the person – or bot – you’re messaging doesn’t have the best intentions? However, fraud detection company Sift estimates that only 10% of dating profiles are outright fake.³

Still, we all want to be safe and even a small chance of being exploited is discouraging. eharmony addressed this by going beyond account verification. We regularly audit for fake and fraudulent profiles and respond to member complaints decisively, maintaining an atmosphere of trust and openness.

Pro: It’s a lot more efficient and convenient than transitional dating

With user numbers reaching almost half a billion soon, there’s a good chance that most eligible singles near you are using one or more dating apps.

The convenience of online dating lets you explore 30-50 different romantic prospects in an hour. The next most efficient option is speed dating, where you’ll have to travel to meet 30 people for 3 minutes each. Online dating breaks down the singles scene, lets you interact at your own pace, nix ineligible opportunities and you can do so wherever you are, whenever you like.

Con: It’s easier for people to misrepresent themselves

This is when users aren’t maliciously deceptive, but rather bend the truth. It’s among the better-known cons of online dating. People mostly do this out of fear of rejection.⁴ While edited and outdated photos can be easily spotted when you meet up, deeper life aspects could take longer – a pitfall in traditional dating too.

Recent survey data from eharmony found that while some singles find certain lies acceptable, such as interests and height, other lies were unacceptable – for instance, drug or alcohol abuse and relationship status.⁵ We help manage this with compatibility testing, which makes it far more challenging to be effectively deceptive on.

Pro: You get to be way more in control of your dating life

Traditional dating can feel circumstantial. You and a person could be perfect for each other, but you’d have to be in the same place, at the same time and in the same headspace to socialize.

That’s a lot of ifs. So when weighing online dating pros and cons, the most salient feature is that it gives you direct access to singles and lets you more easily qualify them by telling people what you’re looking for on your profile. A Pew Research Center survey echoed this, finding that 62% of experienced users agree that online dating allows people to find a better match.⁶

Con: It can be easy for the inexperienced to make simple mistakes

Online dating pros and cons affect experienced users less.⁷ How people behave and interact in the early dating stages is a bit different online. For newer users, it can feel somewhat unfamiliar. This is why they can fumble important profile aspects.

An eharmony member survey found the main annoyance with profiles was not having enough information about the person, with 30% of members agreeing, ‘My profile should accurately capture who I am as a person’⁸. This is why we guide members along the profile creation process, offering online dating tips and helping them create the most effectively accurate image of themselves as possible.

Pro: It takes a lot of the social pressure off the situation

Among the major benefits of online dating is it makes it easier to approach someone than in real life, which can present some social challenges if you’re not outgoing or fear rejection. Online dating mediates this because they’re spaces designed for romantically connecting with other singles. The text-based format also makes initiating interactions and self-disclosure easier.

A study in The Journal of Social Psychology found that rejection-sensitive people prefer these spaces because they can more easily represent their ‘true’ selves in online environments.⁹ 

Con: It can sometimes make you feel bad about yourself

Sometimes, when we can’t connect with the singles we’re looking for, it can make us feel inadequate or lacking somehow. Although this can often just be a result of choice paralysis, being ghosted or feeling like we don’t meet people’s standards and expectations can affect our self-esteem¹⁰.

Swipe-Based Dating Applications (SBDA) users were found by a BMC Psychology study to have higher levels of depression, anxiety and distress¹¹. eharmony’s Compatibility Matching System eschews swipe-based matching in favor of personality-based matching and connection building. This helps validate the compatible singles in your Explore section, curates your dating experience and significantly reduces rejection rates among singles.  

Pro: You get to take advantage of modern matchmaking technology

Speaking of our Compatibility Matching System in terms of online dating pros and cons, people’s dissatisfaction with dating apps often comes down to choice overload resulting in users searching more, being less selective and making choices that don’t fit their dating goals¹².   

A study in the Interpersona Journal did an analysis of eharmony’s approach and found that it quantitatively leads to higher match commonality and as a result, higher quality relationships.¹³

Think about how much more effective it would be to use a service that’s rooting for you and actively supporting your journey, like eharmony.

These online dating pros and cons aren’t universal

As much as we focus our efforts on it at eharmony, we can never completely shift the pros and cons of online dating to be all positive. Like all dating, it’s going to come with its share of downsides tied to people’s age-old quest for love and companionship. The key is to understand that it’s a journey and to focus on the joy of undertaking it, its destination and the life lessons those rough patches teach us.

Here are a few main parting tips to navigate the rewards and risks of online dating:

• Know what you want before you start
• Be patient and don’t compromise on what’s important to you in a relationship
• Fill out your profile completely but without getting into your life story. Give them just enough to express yourself and start a conversation
• Use up-to-date photos without filters that don’t just show you off, but your lifestyle too. Avoid selfies and group shots 
• Be active in communication and initiating contact. Forget gender roles, if someone catches your eye, let them know. Be engaged and involved in the conversation to get that energy in return
• Always meet in a public place the first time and show a friend their picture and the address where you’re meeting

eharmony is ideal for new online daters and people tired of the typical online dating culture. Our approach is quality over quantity, connecting compatible, relationship-seeking singles looking for something deeper. Find out for yourself by checking out eharmony for free today.