Call or Text? the Great Communication Debate 

Just about any relationship expert will tell you that good communication is the cornerstone of success. In online dating, where it’s not possible to read the other person’s body language, it’s even more important to talk (or text) each other. But should you call or text? Let’s look at the pros and cons of texting and calling and offer a few tips on how to communicate better regardless of which you choose.  

Texting: pros and cons of communicating through messages 

More and more people are choose texts over calls, especially those under 40.¹ Texts offer many advantages over calls, so here are six reasons why texting is better than calling:  

• It’s less intrusive 
• It’s useful when you want to send a quick message or confirm a date 
• It let’s you think through your response 
• It’s more private for when you’re in public and want to talk about something personal or even sexy 
• It lets you keep a record of your conversation rather than rely on memory 
• It lets you have conversations if neither of you are free at the same time 

However, texting does have several drawbacks: 

• Tone can be really hard to read over text 
• It’s not necessarily great for deep or personal conversations 
• Having a written record can be risky, especially if you and your partner have sexted each other 
• It’s easy to overthink and stress about sending the perfect message 
• Not everyone finds texting easy (they might have issues that make typing difficult, for instance, or dyslexia 

The power of calls: pros and cons of a voice-first approach 

Humans have been using their voices to communicate since the dawn of time – phone calls just made it possible to do so over longer distances. There are several advantages to choosing calls: 

• Hearing someone’s voice is more intimate than words on a screen 
• It’s much easier to gauge tone and intention  
• A phone date requires you to carve out time for them, which shows they’re important to you 
• Research shows that calling someone creates a stronger bond than texting²

However, phone calls do come with some disadvantages: 

• Both of you need to be free at the same time – a hard ask especially if time zones are involved 
• Some people have hearing issues that make phone calls difficult 
• You have to rely on your memory or take notes if you want to recall any important information 
• Some people just don’t like talking on the phone 

Call or text: finding the right balance 

Regardless of whether you prefer call or text, the key to better communication is figuring out what works for you and your partner. Some tips: 

• Ask how they like to communicate, whether that’s text, phone calls, or a mix of both 
• If they prefer calls, figure out how to make that work – perhaps you could have a weekly phone date, or set times when it’s okay to call each other  
• If they prefer texts, figure out how often they think you should text each other, and how long it’s okay to take to respond. Asking this at the beginning of a relationship can save many misunderstandings 

No matter how you choose to communicate, the most important rule is to make sure you’re clear and honest about your desires and expectations.  

Calling vs Texting – what really matters is that you communicate  

No matter how you choose to do it, communication is key. Regardless of what side you’re on in the great call or text debate, it’s a good idea to experiment. Don’t have anyone to experiment with? That’s where eharmony comes in – we have a large pool of singles all looking to connect with people who want the same things they do. Sign up for eharmony and get started on the path to real love today.